Keep Going, Going On and On

‘Keep Going On’ has been kind of a mantra for me in the last half year or so. It keeps me going even as I’m stagnant, the invisible force making me look ahead and just take another step forward. The full phrase actually comes from a song, Zeal of Proud by Roselia and was originally ‘Life will take us to the right place, keep going, going on the road’. Somehow I had mutated the lyrics to be ‘keep going, going on and on’, and that’s been stuck as my earworm all these time. But no matter, that’s how it is for me.

It’s another new year, and time just seems to fly by so quickly. There’s a joke that we’re starting 2020 season 3, depressing for sure, but perhaps we may finally get a finale. It feels hopeful. I don’t think life can go back to ‘normal’, so the struggle is real in being yourself in this new normal. One of my friend have to constantly remind me that lockdown and quarantine doesn’t mean that it’s a good thing for introverts. I couldn’t understand, because I had wholeheartedly embraced it as a introvert. But 2 years later, I can see now where some of the cracks are. It’s frankly a little scary, and fills me with shame, but if I keep looking back I’m going to be frozen. Keep going on.

The art room has been a mess, full of half finished projects, new products I’ve bought but haven’t used, and junque collection that haven’t been sorted or organised. Lately the muse has been more of junque journal, made 2 journals in the last month as well as a myraid of junque journal embellishments from things around. I’m currently working on making another 2 more junque journal, one for a friend, and another as an experiment in a different style of junque journal. Working on bits and pieces at a time, as I find that I can hardly focus for an extended period nowadays, and working in steps just seems to move things along better.

Here’s a peek at some of these projects:

Bunch of seed packets paper clips

Decorating the covers of my new junque journal

Collection of tags made in series, from mostly scraps

Hope you enjoy the little peek into what I’ve been working on. I had thoughts of sharing some of these projects but then they just.. ran away from me. Someday, maybe.

First World Problems: Black Friday

Black Friday is usually the time when I splurge on buying art stuff, because sales (and thank you, friend in the US). This year though, i was hesitant to spend because I’m at a point when I feel like I’m stagnating, and buying more things is not the solution to it. (I would go as far to say that it might create more problems – and I always jump to Jennibellie’s video on how creativity is not bought from a store).

In a twist of events, this is what happened this Black Friday:

My very honest story of my life during Black Friday 2018, still uncoloured.

To be honest, I let out a breath of relief when the page refreshed and the prices shot up. Disappointed, because there were some items that I was really interested to get. But mostly relief, because I can stop deliberating on to buy or not to buy (and I spent so long on this that I’m judging myself).

Maybe it’ll sink in more afterwards, but I doubt it. Another reminder, to use what I have and really, creativity is not bought from a store.

When life gives you lemons, make lemon juice

So, my computer crashed after the last windows 10 update. I couldn’t reboot it, and it couldn’t detect the OS anymore on my computer… After some fiddling, I manage to get the Windows 10 driver downloaded on it again (using my old old computer to do it.. I’m spoilt by the quickness of newer technology). But, everything is gone from my computer.

Well, not exactly everything, since it did save a copy of my Windows during the reinstallation, so I actually do still have access to my old files. Not that it’s of much use since I’ve long since learnt to save everything on cloud, or on my hard drive. What really hit hard though is the loss of programmes from my computer, and the hassle to reinstall all of them again. Or at least the essential ones. Right now, I’m feeling the loss of Microsoft Office, which I will have to dig out my old disc to see if it can be installed again, because that disc has been so used and abused (flown from Asia to Europe so that I could install it when the same computer broke down while I was on exchange).

But there’s some silver lining here too, which I am really grateful for right now, since I spent all my time trying to fix this since I got home from work (and it’s the first day in the whole month I left work on time too). OneNote works (thank you, Microsoft), so I still got access to all my writing and stories draft on this computer. And Chrome is just a godsend, remembering all my settings, down to the extensions, themes and background image (this, especially, because I spent time actually curating my new tabs background images. I’ll think about how Google is utilising all these information from its users at another time).

So yeah, the really essential things stayed, which is already good enough, and since I’m starting from scratch anyway, I decided that I’m going to jazz up my computer! Or at least, it’s going to be different from before, because I’ve been using the same wallpaper for what, six/seven years? Hey what can I say, I’m a person of habit, and it’s hard to find something that suits my taste. Considering since I drew it. Here, have a look at this rudimentary work drawn with a mouse on Microsoft Paint, it’s a masterpiece I tell ya, creatively named “elephant”:

But anyway, new desktop background and new colour schemes, and I think I’m liking where this is going, until the next time I feel the need for a change (six/seven years later, probably, judging from past trends). And a fresh start also means less clutter on my computer, with all the programmes I don’t use anymore gone until a day I need to use them again. Funny how there’s some sentimental values to computer programmes that you once used but couldn’t bear to remove from your computer because you don’t know when you are going to use them again, and it’s going to be so troublesome to download when you actually need them.

And on a really, really, bright side, I’m so glad that I finished all my resume and cover letters yesterday, before all these nonsense happened. Yay (and thank god) to me for not procrastinating (so much).

I’m rambling I aware, because my plans for today (since I left work on time and all for the first time in what feels like forever) was to to write. But I couldn’t because of the computer thing and I knew if I put it off, I’ll just be condemning my computer to never work again, because I’m lazy at troublesome things like that. So yeah, you get a rambly, crazy girl instead of some coherent, well-thought out post, and a masterpiece of an elephant to boot. Isn’t that just awesome?

And I’m just going to go before I embarrass myself even further. Not that I really mind it at the moment, but I should. Bye. T’was was fun writing this.

Currently…

A collection of small things I want to share. 

In some stroke of funny luck, my phone died shortly before this post on hands-free photography was set to publish. Which actually means that the post is no longer relevant to me because I’m no longer using an Android phone and have switched to an iPhone instead. I do hope that the post content is still helpful to all Android users though!

I’m not a big big fan of the iPhone, and still isn’t after a few weeks of using it. Maybe I’m the odd one because I don’t think people don’t fall in love with Apple after using their products. That’s not to say I hate it though, but I do already have an iPad, so I really don’t need the same features that my iPad can offer me in my phone. But why did I pick the iPhone then? Well, Samsung note isn’t available (I’m a big big fan of the Note series) and I didn’t like the look of the new Samsung Galaxy. And the other Android phones just can’t seem to compare.

Here’s what I’ve been missing about my new phone:

A built in stylus.
The loss of it has never been so acute when I was out one day and my fingers itched terribly to have a stylus in my hand so I can write/draw something to send to someone. I do have my Adonit Jot Pro that I use with my iPad, but it isn’t really that portable with my phone (or so I feel). At least with my iPad I can just tuck the stylus into my iPad cover bag, but with my iPhone… not so much.

My makeshift tablet input. 
I used to use my phone as a tablet input, through the VirtualTablet app, which is available only for selected devices. Granted, it doesn’t work that perfectly, but at least I have the option to make it work after some fiddling. Now.. I don’t even have the option to do so without paying for it. I tend to use the tablet input for photo editing on the blog, for drawing things like arrows. I did find another way around it, as you can see in the photos from the previous post, but it’s not a direct input from my phone to the computer, so the arrows aren’t as organic as I like them to be.

Here’s what I’m enjoying about my new phone:

The camera.
I still stand by that the iPhone has a pretty decent camera. In fact, all the photos from the last post were taken by my new iPhone, and I find the colours to be a little bit more true when I have HDR activated. Of course, now I’m missing the voice-control function, but so far I haven’t felt the lack of hands when I’m taking photo, so that could mean that the focus of this phone camera is better than my old one. That, or I haven’t taken enough photos yet. Time will tell. But yeah, I think the photos I take now look nicer, so I’m a little bit more inclined to take more photos yay!

Um, I think that’s it actually. Wow, I guess I must be really not used to my phone. I hope this gets better over time as I use more of it!

Currently…

A collection of small things I want to share. 

Lost on the road of life (and still in a slump). 
With art journaling being my main source of expression, artistic or not, this means that I’m having difficulties putting things down into words or finding the things that can describe what I feel right now. I’m still managing to do some art, still playing, but heart isn’t in it, so it makes everything seems very shallow. I guess I’m too used to being able to write down/ramble about the things that bother me, that this sudden difficulty is making me stumped. Also doesn’t help that my current art journal has been pretty focused on journaling and writing. So far, I’ve just been doing backgrounds or trying to draw/paint/whatever from watching video tutorials. Hey, that’s better than no progress at all right?

Reading a lot (a lot) of fanfiction. 
Admittedly, this is a guilty pleasure, because I just keep reading and reading and there’s no end to it, unless I force myself to stop. And that means the time I should be spending on other stuff is spent on this instead. I’m trying to limit myself here, but it’s a little hard. I have this habit of looking at stories of people who have followed/liked me, and there’s still a lot of backlog for me to go through, which is driving me crazy with the amount of clutter in my inbox right now. Note to self: create separate emails for different stuff, so I can compartmentalise better and stay saner (and done. *pats myself on the back*)

Taking the online classes I have paid for. 
It’s still a pretty slow process, because I try not to binge watch the videos from the classes. I try to create alongside these classes too, to get the best out of it. So yep, the process is a little slow, but making progress all the same. My iPad is like my best friend now for all the online stuff as it’s a comfortable size to watch videos (and I can being it to bed, when I really shouldn’t).

Songs I listen to over and over again. 
Because earworms are irrational, and you can’t help it. That, and watching movies with musical elements in the cinema (and their sound system).
– Ajari Aku by Anuar Zain
– How does a moment last forever by Celion Dion (from Beauty and the Beast movie)

New additions to the craft room-cum-bedroom. 
I fell in love with the smell of candles when I was shopping at Ikea, and made a purchase on impulse. It’s been great catching a whiff of the smell when I sleep, when I wake up, when I walk into the room, because it just makes me so happy. I finally lighted the first candle today, after I bought the necessary candle lighting stuff so I don’t burn my house down. Funnily I couldn’t smell it much when the candle is lighted.. perhaps I need to light more than one at a go? I’m not sure, but the candle lighting stuff is making me really happy.

Trying to find something to blog about. 
I’m still struggling to post regularly on the blog, but with the lack of story behind what I’m doing, there’s like a dearth of things for me to blog about right now. I’m going to do a spotlight on the pens I have soon, and have already started preparing for it, so that’s something to look forward to. I just bought 10 new pens recently – yes, you heard right, but that’s because I have a voucher for it. It seems funny spending all the voucher buying pens in a bookstore, but honestly, I don’t need to buy more books when I have so many unread books that I’m slowly working my way through. Pens make me happy so that’s a good justification right?

So that marks the end of this little update/filler post. But the post on the pens would be good, I promise. Till next time.

Currently…

A collection of small things I want to share.

Being a somewhat studious student.
My last semester of university life, and I’m both dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time. I’m somewhat proud of myself that I’m being somewhat studious this semester, compared to the past year and half, in which my interest for being studious went downhill since exchange. I can’t really tell if it’s me, or it’s what I’m studying, but I’m really feeling the hardworking vibe, though compared to most people, it’s probably still not that hardworking. But at least I’m feeling good about it, and also proud of myself. Of course it helps that my grades so far this semester have been very promising, so that probably kept my morale up for studying.

Listening to classical music again.
I’m a classically trained musician, and I play the piano and occasionally play the double bass in the orchestra. Ever since university started (that’s years ago), my piano playing generally because weaker because I had less time and incentive to practice or simply touch the piano. I got to play more double bass though, because I joined the school’s orchestra, until I reached a point that I burnt out, and didn’t want to deal with classical music in any form during my free time. I’m happy that I have moved past that, and can genuinely enjoy listen to classical music again during my free time at home. (It also helps that my family is away on holiday and I can blast music from my computer and have the music just surround me.) I think the message here is to take a break from things when you feel like you are not enjoying things as much as you used to, even if it’s something that you love. It helped me refresh myself, and stopped myself from hating the things I used to love, because it was bringing me a lot of emotional distress. Here’s what I’ve been listening to lately: Tchaikovsky Symphony No. 4 & 5, Schubert symphonies. This video of Prokofiev’s Violin Concerto No. 1 also made me stare wide mouthed at the screen, but it was so thrilling to listen to.

Playing games I used to play as a kid (or younger anyway)
I’ve been (re)playing several version of the Pokemon games that I played before – Emerald, Diamond, Y. I really love Pokemon, and the only ones I never played is Black & White and Black & White 2, but I’m hoping to convince my friend to lend me her copy of the game to play soon. I’m really trying to enjoy the game now, and really explore using Pokemon I’ve never used before, which is an interesting and refreshing experience. Right now, I’m eagerly waiting for the latest version to be released, and also baiting for time to buy my own copy of ORAS, if and when I overcome my economic sense. Of course there’s also the latest hype of Pokemon Go that I’m playing on and off. There’s also Yoshi Island, which I love but never gotten around to completing because I don’t own it (my cousin did), so it’s nice to go back to what I missed when I was younger.

Craft products that recently caught my eye
I have been trying very hard not to look at new products, because my wallet will complain. But recently saw this new frame punch board by WRMK and I’m just so awed by it, mostly because I’ve been hoping for an easier way to create frames for scrapbook and stuff.  While browsing through the Simon Says Stamp website I also saw these layering stamps by WRMK, which I felt was pretty cool, particularly the CMYK colours, even if I’m unlike to purchase them. I’m also contemplating actually investing in embossing powders, which I have been putting off because it’s not really my thing, since I don’t do that much cardmaking. But I think just the white and clear would do great for some techniques, without going all out into embossing.

Some crafty videos to share
I recently started subscribing to Shayda Campbell and Kristina Werner on YouTube. Shayda does illustrations and lettering on her channel, which is something I like to look at and hopefully learn. It’s rather different from the channels I have subscribed to so far, so it’s going to be a refreshing change. Kristina is a card making enthusiast that many people should be aware of if they are in the scene. I’ve known of Kristina and her works for a while now, but resisted subscribing to her because I didn’t want to subscribe to too many cardmaking channels. I have this uneasy feeling regarding the cardmaking industry, because they are always coming up with new products, particularly stamps. Maybe it’s my geography training kicking in, but I can’t help but feel like it’s wasteful to be always chasing the newest products, when older products also work well (in a practical sense). Anyway, I started following Kristina because of her letterings and envelope videos, which is something different from what I’m used to. There’s also this video from Jennifer McGuire on getting more out of your acrylic stamps by using the back of it, and this video that I randomly clicked on that showed new ways on using the WRMK envelope punch board, which I own. It’s always good to get new ideas and ways to use your tools and get more out of your money!

Hope you enjoy this little sharing on what’s going on in my life and the things that caught my eyes. Maybe I’ll keep a shorter interval to posting the next currently post. Until next time!

Currently…

A collection of small things I want to share. 

Writing down notes from magazine articles.
I borrowed 3 magazines from the library: Artful Blogging, frieze, and Geographical. I have started reading the first two and while reading I have also been making notes, be it tips, quotes or reflections. I feel that writing down notes help me digest the information more, and crystallises what I read into my brain, which also makes reading all the more meaningful.

Immersing in my creative self.
Doing bits of art every now and then, starting and stopping. Basically just going about doing whatever comes into my mind at the moment, and putting aside plans. I have taken out my Creative Handbook once again (free download by Amy Tangerine) and the small scale of the handbook is perfect for my start and stop way of working right now. Finally have the time too to take the online classes that I have previously purchased but haven’t had the time to look at them. I am hoping to add more to the blog this holidays too while I have the time to do so.

Writing my fanfiction.
Have started to write stories for my fanfiction account again, after a short hiatus before the exams. I like it when the words/stories flows and when I get excited about my stories/characters. It’s like the feeling of loving your art but more than that because it’s like living through the story/characters when you write them.

One recent work of art.

This was inspired by a simple magazine image I saw. I was intrigued by how simple the hands looked in that image (the portion where the boy holds the hat) and decided to give it a try because it looked so simple. I always had an aversion to drawing hands, because I never seem to do it right, or know how to do it. (See this previous work where I avoided drawing real hands.) So I was pleasantly pleased to find that I could actually draw hands if I really focus on it, and by using my hands as a model. This is also the first time I drew a boy; I have always been drawing girls in my journal but I felt that a boy works better with the hat lifting. If there is something that you have been avoiding, maybe now is a good time to try! You never know if it might work out if you put your heart into it.

Quotes I’ve read.

“The world is full of people who are as confused and inspired by our strange and wonderful planet as you and I, and have responded to it in endless creative ways.”

Read this in frieze, one of the magazine I borrowed. It’s been great to find the online community of crafters and to be inspired by the many creative things others do. I feel fortunate that I have taken the leap of faith, and to follow my heart in seeking art once again.

Hope you like this short sharing. A little hard to keep on task this couple of days because we have relatives visiting and staying for a week. But at least it’s always lively around the house when there are more people around (: